"Phuket December 15th to 20th 2003"
by Michael "Khun Mulligan" Killingsworth
Hi Harold,
This is the rather sketchy report on the five courses in five days Phuket trip. I forgot to pick up a notebook and did not get one until a few days later. I was sure that I would not forget any significant details but I seem to have done that. Here is what I recall.
v Side Bets
When the caddies are assigned randomly John and Harold have a standing bet on who has the prettiest caddy. Then there are the par 3 sweepstakes at 50 baht per player per hole, pretty straight-forward, hit the green with your tee shot make par or better and collect the money, but one tie all tie. In the case of no winners (a rather all too-frequent event) or a tie the money is carried over to the next par 3 or the next round or the next round, or until someone finally gets lucky and actually hits a par 3 green in regulation.
v Mulligans
John and Harold allow themselves two mulligans per game. When one of them takes a mulligan he would give their caddies each 20 baht. I did not participate in this because in John's words "You probably don't carry that much cash." My caddies often snivel about being left out and not getting any money.
v Blue Canyon - The Lakes Course
Monday, December 15, 2003
This was a long day. The plane left at 7AM. We landed in Phuket, were picked up by Brian, who was our host for this trip, at the airport and since the course is within sight of the Phuket Airport control tower we were there in a few minutes, teeing off at 9AM. I had sent my bags to the hotel with Jinn and Ta (John and Harolds wives) and did not keep a pair of golf shorts for the day’s game. I had to buy a pair of golf pants because jeans were not allowed on the course. Brian said that players could not wear sandals either, not even the new type of golf shoe sandals.
Off to the first tee, wide and downhill with a large iguana under a tree near the fairway. With the ominous name of Lakes Course a lot of water was expected. Sure enough water was everywhere and I was running out of balls by the third hole with no kiosk in sight. Since John and I use the same ball (Bangkok Golf Club Used) I was not really worried because I could borrow a few from him but John also mentioned that he was running low. We got to the kiosk in the nick of time and stocked up. I lost 9 or 10 balls that day; John said he lost 6 and Harold 4. I spent a lot of time in trees and water and some of the time on fairways and greens but mostly in the rough. Harold had the lowest score for the day, Brian was next, John third and I was highest. Harold won 100 baht from John for the best looking caddy and the par 3 sweepstake worth 200 baht.
The hotel that Brian arranged for us, the Expat Hotel in Patong Beach, was a good choice. Reasonable rooms with a nice pool and a 24 hour coffee shop and within easy walking distance to Soi Bang La and the beach. By happenstance my friend Rita, from San Diego, was in Phuket. She came over on Monday evening and she and I got caught up. She is quite a traveler I had not seen her for a couple of years.
John and His Caddy at Laguna Phuket Golf Club (Banyan tree)
John, Brian and Michael reviewing (actually bull-shitting) their round at The Blue Canyon Lakes Course
v Thai Muang Beach Golf & Marina
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
This course was not on Phuket Island and about a one hour drive away from Patong on the Andaman Sea. It was distinctly different from the Phuket courses. Brian said that it was similar to a 'links course' and he was often using a putter from several yards out on the fairway. Later he said that he was using a wood from the rough more than he would on other courses and in retrospect I wish that I had done so also. This course is not heavily used. There were only the four of us and one other player on the course that morning and Brian said that this was typical. The caddies were not very good. They spoke very little English and could not understand our Thai. John's caddy would consistently bring him the wrong club. John and Harold's best looking caddy bet was a draw and as none of us managed to hit a par 3 green in regulation the sweepstake continued to grow.
I had a terrible time with this course. There were two bunkers about the size and shape of a small garage and I wound up in both of them. On one hole I got into a small grove of trees and could not get out. I managed to hit the same tree dead center twice. At one point my caddy said my ball had gone OB. After battling this grove for several strokes and finally getting out Harold found my ball and said that it was not OB. I hit that ball and got out again with a better lie. The other players in the foursome seemed to be doing OK but this was my highest score in some time. There was no where near the water that the Lakes Course but there was enough other hazards to lose my quota of balls in. Maybe I want to forget this course because I cannot recall any events of significance.
v Laguna Phuket Golf Club (Banyan Tree)
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
Brian called this course "Rather uninteresting and unchallenging." My type of course. I had my best score here. As carts are not available we walked this course. My ability to hit the ball improved, much to my relief. The caddies were mediocre but were a lot of fun. John's wore glasses and could not read the greens. I had the best caddy and she was also the best looking. One of the kiosks gave us cold towels to dry off, a nice touch. Harold had a great drive on one of the holes and the caddies clapped and yelled "You da man, you da man.” On the 18th hole my final put stopped right at the edge of the hole. Harold said I could wait for 10 seconds and as he said the word seconds the ball fell in. A good end for a good day for me. Harold won the par 3 pot, 500 baht from each of us, but the best looking caddy contest was a draw.
Harold and John at the Phuket Country Club
Harold teeing off at the Phuket Country Club
v Phuket Country Club
Thursday, December 18, 2003
This was the prettiest course with a lot of hills and water. This was another walking course. The caddies at this course were the best of the trip. With the exception of some communications problems my caddy took very good care of me, handing me water and wet towels. Harold's caddy was very good at reading the greens and very flirtatious. On one hole I made a putt from about 40 feet out with her advice. Two of the holes required a climb of 70-100 feet up stairs to the tee and several of them had spectacular views. I got a lot of help from some rocks. On the first hole I got into the biggest grass bunker that I have ever seen. I told the caddy to give me a 4 iron and didn't notice that she gave me a 7 until I had made several, mostly bad, strokes with it. It got me out of the bunker and three topped strokes later it got me past the ladies tee. When I changed it for a 4 things got better but I spent a lot of the day chasing balls across fairways, roads and greens. On the 10th hole you tee from a hill to the fairway across a lot of water. The further you hit to the right the more water you have to cross. I did not hit the ball very well but I did hit a rock on the edge of the water hard enough to bounce almost across the fairway. A few holes later I hit the ball sharply, but right at a rock walled creek bank, which bounced it almost to the fairway. John won the caddy contest and he also won 150 baht from each of us on the par 3 bet. My caddy complained about not getting any mulligan money.
v Loch Palm Golf Club
Friday , December 20, 2003
A very nice course and carts were allowed. Brian called it a slicer's nightmare because all of the water hazards were on the right. I had some trouble with the first nine but did much better on the back nine. My caddy and I had some communications problems or I would have done better yet. She could not read the greens. John had the only caddy that was able to do that and she would give us advice. I was about to get on the green in 3 on the 15th hole, a par four but could not chip worth anything. The first chip wound up apparently rolling back into the creek. I crossed the bridge to take a drop and John said that the ball was playable, having rolled against a bush. Maybe for you John! I managed to chip the ball to a point where I could chip it to a point where I was able to chip it across the green. Harold put on a brilliant display of getting out of bunkers on the 11th hole. The bunkers were on either side of a green that sloped down in all directions and Harold got out of each one 3 times, only to have it roll into the other bunker. He had a caddy in each bunker raking out his tracks. Harold never lost his composure in all of this. John made a putt that went from three feet on the rough and about 50 feet across the green into the hole. John spent the week making these long putts either into the hole or coming close enough for a 'gimme'. On the 4th hole, a par 3 my caddy directed me to drive toward a large tree. I failed to notice the green was across a water hazard on my left and she thought I wanted to play it safe. My ensuing drive went much further to the right than I intended and I wound up hitting the ball in almost the opposite direction from the pin.
Again, the caddies easily understood the mulligan rule and encouraged John and Harold to take mulligans. On the 18th hole John had a good drive and his caddy, realizing that time was running out and that he had another mulligan left, requested that he take a mulligan. John declined. My caddy sniveled about being left out. "I don't get money, I don’t have money."
The trip ended in a bar with pool tables where “Sharkey” John won about 14 straight games before we gave up. This was a memorable trip and I am looking forward to the next one this spring.
Michael
Don't forget that Harold organizes regular weekly golfing trips around Bangkok and Thailand. Harold can be found most days in the Hogs Breath bar or email him at Harold@hogsbreathgolf.com
Loch Palm Golf Club
The author
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