v Back to Phuket for five days of golf.
Brian Anderton was again our host and again we stayed at the Expat Hotel. With our new regulation Hogs Breath golf bags we were a rather formidable group,
v Side bets:
When the caddies are randomly assigned, John and Harold have a bet on who has the prettiest caddy.
The par 3 hole bet has been modified: Harold must be on the green on his tee shot and putt out in 2 (par). John and Michael can make bogey on these holes with no more than 2 putts.
v Mulligans:
We each can buy two mulligans per round. The mulligan is paid for by giving each participant’s caddy 20 baht. Caddies catch on to this quickly and try to cajole us into using them. I started participating in this on Tuesday
The Boys from Bangkok with their Hogs Breath Golf bags
Harold & John on the green at Blue Canyon
v Blue Canyon Lakes Course
Monday March 22, 2004
The Lakes course at Blue Canyon is a very nice and well maintained course with rolling hills and good caddies. The course is very near to the Phuket airport and from some parts of the course you can see airplanes disappear into the hills as they land. We went directly to the course from the airport, teeing off at 9:20.
We played a threesome on this day, Harold, John and me. On the first hole, I out-drove everyone from the tee but things went down from there. I did not participate in the mulligan sale on this day and at one point John’s caddy pointed at my caddy and laughed because she got 20 baht for John’s mulligan. A welcome breeze came up on the 6th hole but soon died. It was a hot and sweaty day. John and I had some miraculous bounces on the 10th hole, the type of bounces that come from kicking the ball or even picking it up and tossing it.
I lost 6 golf balls in the water and John and Harold probably lost that many together. Strangely enough, Harold and I hit no bunkers. The caddy contest was a draw and Harold won a par 3 pool on the second hole.
View from the 10th tee at Phuket Country Club
v Phuket Country Club
Tuesday March 23, 2004
Brian joined us here, his home course. The day was hot and windless and as this is a walking course so we did not get the usual relief from the golf ride between holes. This is a very pretty course with lots of small and large hills and some spectacular views. The third hole, a par 5, has a green that is protected by a large bunker. I decided to play it safe and go around the bunker and to my surprise made a drive that would have been on the green if I had challenged it. My golf has improved a lot since December. The fifth and sixth holes require climbing steep stairs to get to the tee and this made things worse. By the 7th hole my shirt and towel were soaking and there was still no breeze. We went through gallons of water and Gatorade. We finished the 9th hole very slowly and while resting at the kiosk got a breeze. Great! The 10th hole tee requires a drive from a cliff that overlooks a large body of water that is between the tee and the fairway. Very intimidating. We drove, climbed down to the fairway and lost the breeze and soon after that we lost John. He stayed with his caddy in the shade and cooled off. My caddy probably weighed about 30 kilos, a crabby little woman, and she started muttering to herself on the 14th hole. I didn’t see her drink anything all day and tried to offer her something but couldn’t get her attention. She made it through 18 holes but was acting strangely. This was not a good situation nor was she a good caddy.
When Harold bought a mulligan on the 15th hole the other caddies strongly suggested that I buy one also. Things got worse. Harold didn’t putt out on the 17th and 18th holes. “The hills and the heat took their toll.”
John won a par 3 on the second hole and he also won the best looking caddy contest. For the second day I did not hit a bunker and that must be a record for me.
The format of this trip was changed after the heat of this walking course. Thursday was to have been played at Laguna Phuket Golf Club which is also a walking course and instead we decided to play two rounds at the Phuket Country Club 9 hole course where carts are allowed.
v Thai Muang Beach Golf & Marina
Wednesday March 24, 2004
This is the course that Brian called a ‘links course’. I am still not sure what that means. I had a terrible time with this course when we played here in December and would have been glad to leave it off the schedule but much to my surprise I found it a lot easier than the last time and left here with very good feelings about this course. Thai Muang has undulating fairways and a rough that I found to be almost nil. It is common to get a lot of roll on the ball. On the 3rd hole all four of us rolled past the green. This course is landscaped with the use of thousands of railroad ties and they sometimes help the bounces.
Brian played with us on this day. We shared golf carts here, Brian and John in one and Harold and me in another. Brian and John found they had been assigned ‘The Golf Cart From Hell’. It would put itself into ‘fast forward’ at random times and it almost got John. When they traded it in on a better cart the course manager said that he would probably retire it. Other strange things happened here. John lost a ball up in a palm tree. I lost a Rhino 2 in the water on one of the holes and on the 15th hole my caddy fished a Rhino 2 out of the water. She claimed it was the same one. My string on bunker-less holes ended on my first drive here but on the 6th hole I won the par 3 bet. When we started the day the course manager told us that all of our caddies were trainees and in the case of Harold’s caddy that may have been true because she looked as though she could not be over 14. My caddy was certainly not a trainee. She was the best that I have ever had and I would go back there just to play a round with her again (pun intended). By the 3rd hole she was handing me the correct club each time, she was cute and very polite and the perfect caddy. She would have won the best looking caddy contest if I had been in it (John won that contest again) and I tipped my caddy 500 baht. I forgot her number but her name is Tai and her boss said that she had actually been working there for 15 years. She must have started when she was very young. Harold and I like the course, Brian seemed to think that it was so-so and John did not like it. I want to see this place again and learn more about this area. The course is next to the Andaman Sea and part of the course is next to a large lagoon where fishing skiffs were pulled up on shore. There must be an inlet from the sea and a that includes the word marina makes me want to learn more about it.
Harold found a way to rate the amount of experience a caddy has at a glance: “How shiny and faded is her uniform?”
Michael putting on the 18th at Thai Muang note the Andaman Sea as the backdrop
John putting on the 17th at Thai Muang
Our host for the week Brian Anderton at the Phuket Country Club
v Phuket Country Club 9 Hole Course
Thursday March 25, 2004
This course allows carts and that is why we came here. We would play two rounds and maybe those are the last two rounds any of the Hogs Breath Masters will play at this course. Brian said that it was not recommended for people with a handicap of greater than 24 and I could see why. The course surrounds a large body of water and you must cross this water a minimum of five times. Power hitters are penalized on some holes and the less powerful are penalized on other holes. One person said that it was like the designer put a 9 hole course into an area that was too small for 9 holes. It is easy to get into the bushes we were warned of snakes. The entire course is banked towards the water and Brian said that when he played it he always used his oldest and most beat-up golf balls. I have no idea how many I lost. I brought a golf ball retriever with me on this trip and by the time we had finished here it had paid for itself. (I lost a ball into the water earlier in the week and my caddy pulled out three.) The 4th hole, a par 3, has a stand of bamboo near the green. Brian and Harold took refuge behind the bamboo but when John and I both sent balls crashing into it we flushed them both out. I wound up winning the par 3 bet on this hole. John and Harold each won a par 3 on this course.
Kevin, our newest Hogs Breath Master teeing off on the 10th at Loch Palm, a downhill dog-leg right par 4
v Loch Palm Golf Club
Friday March 26, 2004
We were joined here by the newest Hogs Breath Master, Kevin, a Canadian who works as an attorney in Paris. Kevin was recruited from a bar on Bang La, of all places. He was easily talked into it: “You use carts? Good.”, “Its OK to drink on the course? Fine!”, “You use caddies? Great!!”, “They are women? WOW!!!”. By the 3rd hole he said that he had never played in such a relaxed game. This was a very easy-going day and a lot of fun. On the 10th hole I sent my first tee shot way off to the right into some trees. “Great shot!” yelled the caddies, thinking that I would be taking a mulligan. I took another shot which went to the left into some hillside brush. After a search, my caddy and I decided the first ball must have been OB and we started searching for the second which we could also not find. My caddy, who was very good, was very embarrassed. “No tip for you.” I told her. Long face “Joke, joke” and she cheered up. We finally caught up with everyone else further down the course. On the 15th hole John hit a shot that hit a Palm tree and seemed to go into an open area. He could not find the ball. My caddy said “I think Palm eat Kuhn Johns ball.” John said “Great! There is water all over this course and the only ball I have lost all day is up in a tree.” On the 17th hole Harold wound up behind a large Palm tree and claimed relief because it was staked. This is the only staked Palm anyone had every seen. John felt that Harold had pulled some sort of a shenanigan. The 18th hole is a long par 5, dogleg left and Kevin went slightly across the green on his 3rd shot. His best of the day and when we told Brian what happened he was impressed. He told of a South African, built like a gorilla, that got on the green in 2 on this hole.
This is a great course. Harold says that this is his favorite Phuket course and Kevin said that he had never had this much fun on a golf course. John and Harold each won a par 3 and the caddy contest was a draw.
v Sharkey II: The Ed Johnson Memorial Pool Tournament
Friday March 26, 2004
At 3PM we retired to the Dragon Bar to get down to the real business of the week, the Sharkey Pool Tournament. The challenge was to beat Sharkey John, the Hogs Breath Pool Master. Brian, Harold, John and Michael were playing. After a 3 hour warm-up period we got to the final. The format: 1 point per win, the first person to get 3 points is the champion. Brian beat John, then Harold and Michael was not looking good when Kevin showed up. Kevin’s presence changed the format and now it would take 4 points to win. But Kevin could not stop Brian, the new Hogs Breath Pool Champion. Harold and John played for second, John winning. A three-way tournament of Harold, Kevin and Michael for 3rd went to Michael. Kevin was 4th and Harold 5th.
This was a great week and I am looking forward to the next Phuket trip, which I understand will probably be in November.
Michael
Don't forget that Harold organizes regular weekly golfing trips around Bangkok and Thailand. Harold can be found most days in the Hogs Breath Saloon or email him at Harold@hogsbreathgolf.com
Brian - lining up a shot in the opening rounds, even shooting pool the Hogs Breath Masters always attract a gallery